Losing Tom, Finding Grace

Losing Tom, Finding Grace is an amazing journey of how God helps us deal and come to terms with the sufferings we experience. Written as a journal, Losing Tom Finding Grace is an honest and intimate revelation of one woman's ability to cope with the unexpected suicide of her teenage son.

Welcome to our website.

Thank you for taking the time to find out more about this amazing journey that we are all on.

If you have come looking for help, answers to questions, hope or comfort we trust that you will find them here.

If you wish to ask other questions, please use the links which will give you our contact details.

Just to give you a flavour of what this book is about, read Jackies introduction to Losing Tom, Finding Grace and also the foreword to the book, written by Rob & Marion White.


Losing Tom, Finding Grace.


This book has been, for me, an amazing journey – into my heart and soul, finding out things about me, some things I liked and a lot I didn’t, why I was who I was, what shaped me, and actually finding out that really, I am an o.k. person! Through all the heartache and soul searching God’s arms have been firmly around me and beneath me – I wasn’t always aware of them, but they were there nevertheless. I wish with all my heart that Tom was still here, that I could have grown without the pain of losing him, but in all honesty that is what has made me who I am now – stronger, and I hope, a better wife and mother than I was before.


I always felt when writing this journal and the poems, that they weren’t just for me, that God enabled me to pour out my heart and all of myself for the benefit of others and for His Glory above all. I knew when it was finished, and have not felt like adding to it or written any more poetry, but knowing what to do with it once it was written has been the hardest part –each time I said ‘that’s it, I’m not publishing it, I can’t do it, I can’t lay myself wide open to the scrutiny of others,’ God has put someone in my orbit who has encouraged me to persevere. So here it is… and you are reading it!


Foreword for ‘Losing Tom – Finding Grace’


How can a book written about a story of pain and sadness be such a positive book? It seems almost impossible to think that one would finish reading this story and come away uplifted and encouraged.


That’s how we felt as we turned the pages of Jackie’s journal. We seemed to enter the very emotional struggles with her and Alan, but left with a sense of peace and hope. But then it’s not really surprising because Jackie’s prayer, recorded towards the end of the journal, is for “everyone who reads it to be touched by the glory of God”. We found that prayer answered.


We feel privileged to be asked to write this foreword because although we know Jackie and Alan, and have walked with them from a distance and occasionally more closely through this journey, we have been able to share so much more, through the prose and poetry, of the painful pathway with its twists and turns; its rocky stretches and more gentle yards.


It is such a down-to-earth, real story of how Jackie and Alan, and James, have lived with the tragedy of Tom’s suicide. Nothing seems to be hidden; you can feel the anguish, the bouts of guilt, the searching, unanswerable questions, the positive times when the strength of friendship and sense of God’s presence and comfort provides a realistic foundation for a future and a hope. Jackie has been so expressive in her openness and honesty that we often found ourselves thinking, “Oh, I can see how you’d feel like that”, or, “Yes, of course, it must be like that” – and we had no right to because, although we’ve been through our own problems, we have not lived with that kind of tragic loss. We felt that Jackie was sharing just with us.


How very helpful this book is for anyone going through the grief of loss. You will feel understood, not alone, helped and strengthened. Read it anyway because, even if you haven’t experienced this level of suffering, you will begin to understand, and you will find yourself strangely warmed and enriched as you realise afresh that God’s help and comfort and, indeed, his grace are not a figment of the imagination, but a rock-solid reality.


Rob & Marion White December 2010